


When Aversion Ain't "Appropriate": Sexnormativity in the Simon/Kaylee Subplot [Meta]

by osteophage



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Asexuality, Criticism, Meta, Nonfiction, Sex Aversion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:30:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23002153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osteophage/pseuds/osteophage
Summary: Metacommentary on the canon Simon/Kaylee subplot and the negative framing of sexual refusal.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13
Collections: March Meta Matters Challenge





	When Aversion Ain't "Appropriate": Sexnormativity in the Simon/Kaylee Subplot [Meta]

**Author's Note:**

> This work is being posted to AO3 for the March Meta Matters Challenge, originally posted to [Pillowfort on December 31, 2019](https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/1012487). Contains detailed spoilers.

I first watched Firefly back sometime in late high school or early college, either shortly before or shortly after I began identify as ace at age 19, and for me, the resolution to the Simon/Kaylee subplot was devastating. So recently, I decided to rewatch all of Firefly and take copious notes in order to produce what you're reading now: A very long post about Simon and Kaylee's relationship and why I hate it. 

Table of Contents:

  * Other Criticism: Firefly & Race
  * Interior Context: Firefly & Sexuality
  * Intro to Kaylee & Simon's Characterization
  * Chronological Details of the Simon/Kaylee Subplot 
    * Setup
    * The Core Conflict
    * Dehumanization
    * Stasis
    * Resolution
  * Takeaways



If you've never seen Firefly or Serenity before, he's a brief summary of the premise: Firefly is a space western about Captain Mal Reynolds and his misadventures in crime aboard the spaceship Serenity. Despite taking place in the future, the show draws on motifs, language, and narratives reminiscent of a late 1800s western (ex. robbing a train, saying "ain't" a lot, etc.). Also, everyone cusses in Chinese for some reason. 

Note, by necessity, this post contains lots of spoilers.

### Other Criticism: Firefly & Race

This post isn't going to get into every single thing wrong with the show, but I don't want to seem like I'm ignoring the more glaring issues, either, so I figured I'd drop a few links to further reading. Note that I don't necessarily agree with every statement made here, but it'll give you a sense of what some of the criticism looks like, at least. 

(Massive spoilers, btw.)

  * [Firefly, Serenity, and Confederate Politics](https://faustusnotes.com/2011/01/16/firefly-serenity-and-confederate-politics/)
  * ["We Don’t Say 'Indian'": On the Paradoxical Construction of the Reavers](http://www.whedonstudies.tv/uploads/2/6/2/8/26288593/curry_slayage_7.1.pdf) [pdf]
  * [Firefly: Imaginative, modern, beautiful... racist?](https://stevenlylejordan.blog/2017/08/12/firefly-imaginative-modern-beautiful-racists/)
  * [What Haunts Me About Firefly](http://fraggmented.blogspot.com/2010/12/what-haunts-me-about-firefly.html)
  * [How Joss Whedon’s Firefly Geekwashed the Confederacy](https://sandssavvy.wordpress.com/2016/06/07/how-joss-whedons-firefly-geekwashed-the/)
  * [Bushwhacked by the Nightmare Native: The Western Roots of Firefly's Reavers](https://virtualvirago.blogspot.com/2011/12/bushwhacked-by-nightmare-native-western.html)



### Interior Context: Firefly & Sexuality

For frame of reference, here are a few notes on other places where sex is mentioned, discussed, or depicted on the show. This context isn't crucial for understanding what happens in the Simon/Kaylee subplot, but I do think it's important for drawing conclusions about its implications.

  * One of the main characters, Inara, is what's called a "companion." In our world, the closest analogue would be something like a really fancy escort -- a prestigious, high-class sex worker.  
  

    * The show's portrayal of companions is... shall we say... ambivalent.  
  

    * On the one hand, companions and other sex workers are not overtly villainized. One of them is a sympathetic main character, after all. There's also a plot where the crew gets into a gun fight in order to protect the workers at a brothel, aligning the sex workers as sympathetic victims of a local warlord.  
  

    * On the other hand, Inara frequently butts heads with Mal over him disrespecting the nature of her work. The word "wh*re" gets used a lot.  
  

    * I point this out because Mal is the most main of the main characters, and although he's allowed to be wrong about a few things, he's more or less presented as the "jerk with a heart of gold" archetype. So when he criticizes Inara, I think we're supposed to take it seriously instead of just writing him off as jealous and prejudiced.  
  

    * At one point, in the episode "Shindig," Mal refers to Inara's work as "dishonest" -- on account of "that man parading you around [at the party] as if he actually _won_ you, as if he loves you." Mal distinguishes himself from the client by saying that while he (Mal) doesn't respect Inara's job, the client doesn't respect _her_ (as a person). Since the client in question is shown to be a pompous ball of snot, it comes across like Mal is "right" about the guy. So ostensibly, the narrative message is that sex should be reserved for the context of "love," or at least "respect."  
  

  * There are a few brief references and depictions of same-gender sexuality, all involving either Inara or other sex workers. One particular moment has a very voyeuristic/fetishizing framing to it.  
  

  * In a couple of episodes there's a femme fatale plot. There's a lot that could be said about that, but for our purposes here, all you need to know can be summed up as "it's a femme fatale plot."  
  

  * The threat/possibility of rape (by villains) is raised in a few different contexts. It's framed as scary and bad.  
  

  * At one point, Mal has sex with a woman called Nandi, despite being more attracted to Inara. The scene has kinda weird, bittersweet vibes on account of it's the night right before a big scary battle and it's also an interference with the Mal/Inara ship. Mal and Nandi don't really know each other, much less love each other, and while it's not exactly framed negatively, there's a later scene which conveys Nandi wouldn't have slept with Mal if she'd known that Inara was into him.  
  

  * The priest character, Shepherd Book, is religiously celibate. Nobody makes an issue of this. That could be because they actually accept it, but it may or may not also have something to do with him being a gray-haired older black man. Sidenote, there's a lot you could say about the portrayal of black men in this series, but that's outside my scope here at the moment.  
  

  * Zoe and Wash are a married couple and happily share a sexual relationship, i.e. sex in the context of a loving marriage. There's a lot you could say about these two, but to keep things brief, I'd say that their relationship is the most functional out of all the canon ships in the show.  
  

  * Interestingly enough, one episode has Inara being hired by a man on behalf of his 26-year-old son. The father in question, Mr. Higgins, is portrayed as very boorish and rude about his son's virginity; the son, Fess, is very embarrassed about all this, but he still goes along with his father's plan for him to "become a man."  
  

    * In private, Inara disagrees, telling Fess that "[Sex] doesn't make you a man. You do that yourself." And in the end, it's Inara's opinion (not the father's) that's validated by the narrative. 



Based on the above, I think there's enough evidence to conclude the following: Firefly includes negative portrayals of sexual manipulation & forcible rape, ambivalent portrayals of paid sex & casual sex, and a fairly positive portrayal of marital sex, as well as accepting portrayals of virginity and celibacy. Overall, it presents **sex as something that belongs in the context of "love,"** if not necessarily marriage. 

Conversely, I argue, it also presents the same message in reverse: affection and attraction (between eligible het partners) needs and deserves to be consumated with sex.

### Intro to Kaylee & Simon's Characterization

**Kaylee Frye, the mechanic,** is a core member of the spaceship crew. From the moment we're introduced to her, she's portrayed as a bubbly and cheerful woman who wears her heart on her sleeve. She's generally inclined to think the best of people, and she's overall more compassionate than most of the crew, but she's not very concerned with propriety. She's used to living a rough-and-tumble life on the wrong side of the law.

She's also a very sexually-driven person. In a flashback, we learn that the very first time the Captain met Kaylee, it was by accidentally walking in on her having sex with a guy in the engine room. She seems only mildly embarassed about getting caught going at it, and in the course of getting herself dressed again, she immediately butts in on a conversation about ship repairs, talking about it like nothing happened while still in the process of getting her clothes on. In another scene, she's waving Inara goodbye and calls after her "Have good sex!" as a final parting farewell. Overall I'd describe her as having a very matter-of-fact approach to sexual matters and pursuing her own sexual desires. 

**Simon Tam, the doctor,** is a newcomer to the crew. He comes from a wealthy family, and he's essentially portrayed as a cityslicker greenhorn who doesn't know or understand much about the crew's way of life (there are several gags about this, like him using equipment wrong or not knowing how to aim a gun). His main motivation is taking care of his younger sister, who I'm not going to talk much about here, but let's just say that he's got a good reason to be stressed out most of the time. He's also terrible with words anytime he's not making barbed or sarcastic comments. Overall I'd describe him as rather neurotic, caustic, and awkward. In his flaws I see some of myself and I tend to empathize with him, so naturally, I project onto him way too easily.

As a wealthy, well-educated man from a central planet, Simon is more concerned than Kaylee is about propriety, acting the repressed gentleman foil to her more carefree attitude. In general, he's a lot more reserved and circumspect about the topic of sex. For example, in that scene I mentioned earlier, when Kaylee calls out "Have good sex!" to Inara, Simon looks slightly taken aback by her bluntness. 

### Chronological Details of the Simon/Kaylee Subplot

This section describes the relevant interactions between Simon and Kaylee (from both the show and the movie) in excruciating detail, from setup to conflict to stasis to resolution. Skip to the next section if you'd prefer to just hear the key takeaways. 

#### \- Setup -

Within the space of the first two episodes, multiple characters have picked up on **Kaylee's attraction to Simon** and made comments about it. Initially, though, his feelings about her are left unclear -- he's way more focused on his sister than anyone or anything else.

* * *

In the fifth episode, "Safe," Kaylee and Simon end up having an argument. How this starts out, though, is that Kaylee is contemplating how to get Simon's attention. She and Inara are visiting a small, rustic store on a backwater planet when she picks up a decorative plate and asks, "Do you think this would make a good gift?" Inara immediately figures out that this hypothetical gift would be for Simon. As the conversation turns toward the topic of him and her attraction to him, Kaylee gushes, "He's just so sly... You just want to take a bite out of him all over, you know?" 

Seconds later, Simon enters the shop and makes a derogatory comment about their wares: "Good god, they're asking money for this crap?" He's looking at the very same plate that Kaylee was just looking at. She visibly deflates.

At this point, Simon is following his sister around the store and being extremely neurotic and cranky, which of course Kaylee picks up on. He thinks this stress is a perfectly natural response to his circumstances -- circumstances which he briefly describes to her in a sarcastic way. This summary happens to involve a derogatory comment about the spaceship, and that's the part that Kaylee reacts to.

Kaylee echoes, "[Chinese word]?" and then contradicts him: "Serenity's not [Chinese word]."

Simon realizes he's touched a nerve. "I didn't mean--"

Kaylee cuts him off. "Yeah you did."

"Actually, no, I was being ironic--"

"You were being mean," she says, with a cold look. "And if that's what you think of this life, then you can't think much of them that choose it, can you?" Then she and Inara leave the store.

This scene establishes that rich kid Simon still has a snobbish outlook on the world. With that said, I'm not really sure why the scene was written this way, because it's kind of forgotten about and never touched on again. They never have a conversation where he apologizes or anything, and we don't get to see Kaylee working through her hurt feelings. It just kinda... happens, and then they move on. What it does establish, though, is the first of many instances in which Simon accidentally hurts Kaylee's feelings through carelessness. 

* * *

In episode seven, "Jaynestown," they're shown having a conversation about profanity, which highlights the contrast between their personalities: 

"I use swear words like anybody else," Simon insists. 

"Oh really? See, 'cause I never heard you."

"I swear when it's appropriate."

Kaylee smiles and explains with a twinkle of amusement in her eye, "Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain't appropriate." 

* * *

When Mal needs to embark on business in Canton, Kaylee invites Simon to come with them. Eventually the two of them end up together at the bar, where Simon gets drunk enough to become more forthcoming than usual, and this is where we get the first indication of **Simon's attraction to Kaylee**. Kaylee tells him, "You know, you're pretty funny," and Simon, intoxicated, replies, "And you're pretty... pretty." This is the first he's made his feelings known to her. "Even when you're covered in engine grease," he continues, the corrects himself. "No, especially when you're covered in engine grease."

#### \- The Core Conflict: "Propriety" & Sex -

Later in that same episode, Mal finds Kaylee and Simon asleep together on a bench. The two wake up, and Simon, embarassed, sputters, "Nothing happened. I-- I would never-- Not with Kaylee." These lines can be read as an expression of how awkward and high-strung he is, but at the same time, he's also expressing **a belief that messing around with Kaylee would somehow be wrong/inappropriate** (or at least, that Mal might see it that way).

Kaylee immediately takes offense. "What do you mean, not with me?"

The focus of the scene shifts for a moment as Jayne cuts in, but then, as the group is leaving, Kaylee looks back at Simon and asks, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going with you."

"Mm, I don't think so. No, maybe you ought to stay here. It's about the time for a _civilized_ person to have his breakfast. That's the sort of thing to be _appropriate_ , don't you think?"

And so they leave without him. 

* * *

Toward the end of the episode, Simon gets attacked and injured, and Kaylee is sympathetic to him again. Aboard the ship, she fusses over him and his injuries, and eventually, she asks, "You couldn't beat [your attacker] back? Or would that not be appropriate?"

"You're never letting go of that, are you?"

"Well, you confound me some, is all. I mean, you like me well enough, and we get along, and-- And then you go all stiff."

"I'm not, um-- I didn't--"

"See? You're doing it right now."

At this point, I'd like to point out that Simon has proven to be extremely awkward in stressful and unfamiliar circumstances (ex. in an earlier scene, he's pretending to be a mud customer and does a terrible job at acting). If I were Kaylee, I'd be inclined to interpret this stammering here as just more of that same awkwardness under pressure. They go on to discuss it, though, as instead a matter of values.

**"What's so damn important about being proper?"** Kaylee asks. "It don't mean nothing out here in the black."

"It's means more out here," Simon disagrees. "It's all I have." In a way, it's one of his distinguishing characteristics among the crew, but that's not all he means. **"I mean, my way of being... polite... or however, it's-- Well it's the only way of I have of showing you that I like you.** **I'm showing respect."**

In context, it's a bit ambiguous which things "being polite" is referring to here, but I want to press pause on this scene for a moment to elaborate on a couple of different readings. The main point of contention between them in this episode (and in their arc overall) is sex and whether they should have it. So **"being polite" here is pretty easy to take as code for his sexual avoidance,** at least in part. 

Since Simon's a man who comes from a high-class background, **one way to interpret this avoidance is "being a gentleman,"** so to speak: an extremely narrow and patronizing outlook on what "respecting" a woman can look like. Implicitly, Simon seems to believe that having sex with her would be disrespectful or degrading. He doesn't spell this out exactly, but that's the subtext. So even a very surface reading here might conclude that "being polite," for Simon, is actually an expression patronizing misogyny.

...So here's the thing. I already sympathize with Simon a lot, as mentioned, and this whole "avoidance of sex" business endeared him to me even more than ever, so this *taps on glass* right here? It may have been intended as antiquated gender roles, but if so, it was sloppily written enough that it leaves an opening for me to project my own interpretation, which is this: 

"Being polite" is just an excuse. A rationalization. An attempt to make sense of what Simon otherwise can't make sense of. I'm not saying Simon is asexual, but I am saying that if Simon _were_ asexual, it would go like this: Simon likes Kaylee and thinks she's pretty, but he also feels anxious and wrong about the thought of having sex with her, and so **he rationalizes those feelings in terms of the cultural frameworks that are available to him.** For example, he knows Mal is against shipboard romances, so he wants to follow the rules with Mal. He also knows that some men, such as Jayne, express and discuss sexual interest/desire for women in ways that are disrespectful (objectifying, etc.). 

On account of that, it's easy for Simon to intuit that "sex = disrespectful"(at least, outside the confines of a socially-sanctioned courtship & marriage). So when pressed on the subject, Simon to falls back on that as an explanation for his reservations. He doesn't want to be seen as disinterested, and he doesn't otherwise know how to reconcile affection + aesthetic attraction with sexual disinterest/aversion, so he prefers to simply be seen as "polite."

These attempts to reframe/rationalize away asexual experiences are a fairly common pattern to ace narratives, in the "before" part of "before & after" finding the ace community. **This makes this line extremely easy to read as the words of an asexual man in denial.** I listen to Simon talk and, ugly as it is, I see a piece of myself, my teenage self, latching onto conservative sexual mores because I truly thought the conservatives were the only ones who would have me.

Anyway this is where things start getting gross.

Kaylee starts to look unsure for a moment, and begins to say, "...So, when we made love last night--"

"When we WHAT?!"

Kaylee smiles. "You really are such an easy mark."

It turns out that comment was just a joke, tricking him into momentarily believing he'd had sex with her while drunk -- sex that, evidently, he would not have consented to while sober. I don't think it's very funny.

#### \- Dehumanization -

Several episodes later, in "The Message," Simon and Kaylee out on their own together. There's a huckster promising to show them proof of alien life, so they check it out. Said proof of alien life turns out to be a mutated cow fetus, which Simon and Kaylee inspect up close in a darkened viewing booth. It's not very interesting to look at, and the conversation between them drifts to another topic. 

A comment from Simon -- "You always manage to find the bright side in everything" -- leads to Kaylee eventually nudging him with, "Tell me more good stuff about me."

This is about to go pretty badly.

"Well," he begins, "you're kind of a genius when it comes to machines. You always say what you mean. And your eyes are...."

Kaylee looks up at him with hopeful interest. "Go on. Eyes. Yeah?"

"I don't really know how to, uh..." Simon drops the topic of physical appearance entirely and veers off on a different point. "Plus, every other girl I know is either married, professional, or closely related to me, so... you're more or less-- You're literally the only girl in the world."

Kaylee stares at him. "Hmm. That's a hell of a thing to say."

Simon realizes he's stepped in it again. "...I was joking."

"Oh no no I get it, I do. Back on Osiris you probably had nurses and debutantes crawling all over you, but down here at the bottom of the barrel, it's just me."

"No. That's-- That's not even--"

"I'm glad I rated higher than dead Bessie here."

Kaylee walks off, at which point Zoe and Wash enter the booth.

"Scare her away again, did you?" Zoe asks.

"This may come as a shock, but I'm actually not very good at talking to girls."

"Why, is there someone you _are_ good at talking to?"

Have I mentioned I relate to Simon? This whole "not good at talking to people" business, it tends to cement that. Even as obviously foolish as that whole thing was to say to her -- and it was very, very obviously foolish and insulting, so I'm with Kaylee on this one. 

It's interesting to me, though, that he didn't take her directive to keep describing her eyes. It was like her encouragement somehow _put him off_ the subject, even. Like he might've been worried that getting _too_ detailed about her appearance, or getting too far into conveying his _attraction_ to her, might somehow have given her the wrong idea. 

If Simon were completely heterosexual, this would make no sense; he should have just kept describing her eyes. Nothing inappropriate telling someone they have pretty eyes. What _would_ make some sense of this, though, is if he's trying really hard not to lead her on or come across as "too" interested (even though, clearly, he is physically attracted to her -- he just doesn't want sex). 

A moment later, we also get to see Kaylee talking to Inara in the wake of this. Inara asks, **"So, do aliens live among us?"** and Kaylee replies, "Yeah, one of them's a doctor."

From here the episode continues to depict the relationship (general relationship) between Kaylee and Simon as under strain. In one brief exchange, when the crew is discussing what to do with the corpse they mysteriously recieved in the mail, Simon offers, "If you want me to do a proper autoposy--" Kaylee cuts him off. "Cut him up?" she asks, aghast, and then looks away and mutters, **"Robot."**

So within the space of a single episode, we get the two classic comparisons: alien and robot, the two points of reference for lacking an expected amount of human feeling. 

#### \- Stasis -

Further developments simply reinforce what we already know, without progressing the subplot from where it stands. 

In the next episode, "Heart of Gold," the crew takes a job as hired guns for a brothel. Kaylee, while looking around, sees that there are men employeed by the brothel and says, "Isn't that thoughtful? ...I wonder if they service girlfolk at all."

Simon, standing next to her, looks nervous and asks, "Isn't there a pregnant woman I'm supposed to examine?" He's clearly anxious to get out of here and just do his job. 

Wash ignores him and asks Kaylee, "You'd really lie with someone being paid for it?"

"Well, it's not like anyone else is lining up to, you know, 'examine' me."

* * *

In the last episode, "Objects in Space," Simon is reckoning with the possibility that the Captain might kick him and River off the ship. It's very upsetting for a number of reasons.

For one, Simon tells Kaylee, "She loves this ship. I think it's more a home to her than any place she's been."

To that, she asks, "What about you?" and Simon describes where he'd be now if it wasn't for River.

Kayle asks, "Is it _so_ bad here?" 

"I don't even know if the Captain will let us--"

"No, I mean-- Isn't there anything 'bout this place you're glad of?"

Simon looks at her and reaches for her face, but then they're interrupted.

And that's it. That's their entire arc within the show.

....Then, well. Then there's the movie.

#### \- Resolution -

In the movie, the Captain ends up making Simon and River leave the crew. The crew can make do without a doctor, probably, but it's going to be very dangerous for Simon and River, on account of they're wanted fugitives running from the law and don't have a lot of other options. Left on their own, they're probably going to get scooped up by the government pretty soon and either tortured or killed.

After they're separated at port, Kaylee criticizes the Captain for his decision. 

The Captain tries to postpone the conversation: "Kaylee, this is a place of business. We can talk about Simon when--"

"When he's four worlds away? Or the Alliance gets a hold of him and River?"

"That ain't my worry. I got to finish this job and get us another one. Can't do that carrying those two."

"How can you be so cold?"

Zoe intervenes with, "The Captain didn't make them fugitives."

"But he could have made them family. Instead of keeping Simon from seeing I was there. When I carried such a torch, when we could've... Going on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries."

This turn in the conversation is such an astonishing expression of... priorities... that I'm almost inclined to call it out of character. In the show, Kaylee's been shown to be a kind-hearted and compassionate person, and she knows what kind of peril Simon and River are facing on their own. And yet here she is making her number one complaint that she wants to get in Simon's pants.

* * *

Before long, the Captain does end up taking Simon and River back onto the ship, and the plot is underway. Toward the end of the movie, most of the crew ends up hunkered down and bracing themselves for a big battle -- most likely to get them all brutally slaughtered. [Simon and Kaylee talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohIqCoGRBX0) as they wait for the enemies to bust through the door.

"I didn't plan on going out like this," Kaylee says. "I think we did right, but..."

"I never planned anything. I just wanted to keep River safe. Spent so much time on Serenity ignoring anything I wanted for myself." There's a meaningful look between them. **"My one regret in all of this," he continues, "is never being with you."**

"With me?" Kaylee echoes. "...You mean to say, as... Sex?"

Simon smiles faintly and nods. "I mean to say."

Kaylee suddenly becomes determined and points her gun at the door. "Hell with this. I'm gonna LIVE."

* * *

After the plot is resolved, a brief clip depicts the happy ending to their story. They're together. He's shirtless. They kiss, and they go down out of frame, presumably getting horozontal. Within the same shot, River's face comes into frame from above, watching them. Bear in mind this girl is supposed to be 17. 

And that's it. That's the "resolution" to the Simon/Kaylee subplot: They have sex.

### Takeaways

  * Kaylee and Simon are both shown to be physically attracted to each other.  
  

    * Kaylee repeatedly expresses an interest in getting into his pants, and Simon tells Kaylee that she's "pretty."  
  

    * Outside of the movie, there's no particular indication that Simon's attraction or interest in her is necessarily sexual.  
  

  * Kaylee is a highly sexually-driven person. In most of the show, Simon is shown to have other priorities.  
  

  * Simon's "propriety," or investment in doing what's "proper," is a point of contention between them.  
  

  * Simon describes "being polite" as his way of "showing respect." Implicitly, this is his explanation for why he doesn't have sex with her.  
  

  * His sexual refusal, combined with Kaylee later calling him an "alien" and a "robot," gives Simon's character a lot of asexual resonances.  
  

  * His sexual refusal is framed as an obstacle to their subplot, and this obstacle is eventually overcome when he changes his mind at the end of the movie and they have sex.



The wider context of the show indicates that, technically, this is not a unilateral "everyone ought to have sex" type of message. The Fess Higgins subplot frames viriginity as nothing to be ashamed of, and although Jayne is confused by Shepherd Book's religious celibacy, nobody treats it like a problem or a plot obstacle. 

The one circumstance where **"not having sex" _is_ framed as a problem** is in the context of **mutual attraction between a conventionally-attractive young man and woman**. In other words, not having sex is fine, up until you like somebody who likes you back. 

Simon's sexual refusal, here, is framed by the narrative as a regrettable mistake. As noted earlier, the show does negatively frame some of the villains as violent rapists, but Kaylee putting sexual pressure on Simon doesn't get near the same treatment. Presumably that's because the pressure is coming from a nonthreatening pretty woman who's otherwise sweet and sympathetic, not to mention someone he himself finds attractive. This makes her "appropriate" to pair with him, unlike the violent villains, and so there's "no reason" (or rather, no legitimized reason) for him to say no to her. In the end, this framing is ultimately cemented by him changing his mind and having sex with her as a part of a triumphant happy ending. 

And that's why, for me, the Simon/Kaylee subplot feels like a kick in the stomach.


End file.
